The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
