Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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