Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
