your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
