i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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