she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
