oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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