i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
