You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
