Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize