From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
