Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
