so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
