i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
