How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
