I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
COCAINE IS GR8
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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