bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
