does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
