I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
