I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
