Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
