WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
This is the high leading the old right now
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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