Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
foreskin is a definite game changer
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
