Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
