I must be too annoying 4 u.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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