can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
