..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
