Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
