i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
