It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize