Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
