There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just had sex on a roof
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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