Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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