I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Randomize
