hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
