Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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