After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize