Cold hands, warm shart.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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