Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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