Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize