We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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