He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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