he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
