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did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
