Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Me too!
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
