suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Randomize