Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You need a sexual gate keeper
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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