Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
