I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
