so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
