What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
