Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
