Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
