Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
