Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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