Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
