I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
