just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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