after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
