five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
