We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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