I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
