Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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