Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
