I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
