Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize