But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
