im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
