Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
