maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
