these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
