I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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